Shocked and
amazed by the Pakistani culture, not once but very often. I am left to
contemplate and question our norms and values. Once such fancy occasion which
leaves me awe-struck is a traditional Pakistani “wedding”.
Weddings in
the Indian sub-continent have been of utmost significance. Not only as they
give a structure to the society, they open a door to an entirely new universe
in a person’s life. But, at what cost?
A wedding or
a marriage ceremony is held to solemnize a marriage contract between two
individuals, the husband and the wife respectively. In this society, two
families, two entities, clans and tribes join and are related to one another
miraculously. Therefore, how does an event which solely consists of signing a
marriage contract become such a lavish financial ordeal?
Well, the
answer is simple: culture. As a society we have grown a staunch liking for
superfluous acquisitive desires and a flamboyant wedding party is just an
example of that.
Parents
start filling up their bank accounts, purchase prize bonds and other
investments even before their child utters a word. With millions and millions
being spent like continuously flowing water on this mega event.
The
pre-wedding preparations start from the very day the couple gets engaged. From
the venue to the wedding jora (dress), your dad’s heart bleeds to death. The
red-colored wedding dress, which the bride will wear only once during her
lifetime on the ‘big day’ costs no less than a whooping Rs 100,000/- minimum.
Another Rs 50,000/- to Rs 80,000/- are spent on dresses for ‘mayo’, ‘dholki’
and mehndi. But, what for??
The men are not too far behind in the league. A sherwani or a wedding suit for
the big event costs no less.
 |
| Traditional wedding dress |
Then,
finally arrives the day your whole family has been desperately waiting for: The
wedding day (Barat). The ‘exclusively’ crafted dance floor, the floral
decoration and elaborate stage settings all warmly welcome you. (Money talks!)
Your
relatives from all across the country pop-up like daffodils (you haven’t most
of them and you’ll never will) shower you with words of affection, which let me
assure you is mere courtesy. Many of them show up just to enjoy the culinary
delicacy.
Ahh… how can
I forget the integral part of a wedding? Food! Parents ought to spend a minimum
of Rs 1500/- per person just to serve Biryani on the poolside to the
well-wishers, who will always find something to whine about. After all, sitting
on the foamy chairs is not easy. Is it?
Instead, all
this money could be given to the newly-weds who could invest it in a profitable
venture for instance, property or even gold for that matter.During
weddings, all ‘Islamic’ aspects of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan go down the
drain, and we emerge copying ‘Bollywood’ all over. The unnecessary
expenses: the clothes, shoes, bags,
venue, car, stage decoration etc pile up to break Dad’s back. Where is the
dowry that Hazrat Fatima (A.S) received? Where is the valima that Hazrat Ali (A.S) gave? Where does the religious
obligation of giving the “Haq-Mehar” disappear?
Functions
like wedding ceremonies reflect the evolution of a society’s culture and
values. But, in our state of affairs they primarily reflect the family’s social
class and monetary eminence.
Instead of
focusing on the perfect wedding ceremony, we should focus on a perfect marriage
which produces far better individuals than we are and are those who work for a
better tomorrow.
